Posts by Jessica Rabbit

23

What did you miss the most while being a kid in the Borg?

by Jessica Rabbit in

jw
friends

the other day i was watching "charlie's angel's" (the weekly series from the '70's) on tvland.

it dawned on me how much i used to wish they had aired that show any night but thursdays.

maybe twice a year, if i was too sick to go to the meeting i would get my hour to watch my favorite star...farrah!

Jessica Rabbit

Hamas, you make me laugh. I love all of you guys. I am having a blast with this.

I am so glad I asked the question "What did you miss the most?"All of you touched on some of my same memories. We ought to send this to Dr. Phil or somethin'. It really is sad to hear some of your responses because I can hear the emotions in your words. These experiences we had as kids are what make us the way we are today in certain situations. I swear I am still trying to figure out how to interact with "worldly" people at work. I feel so backwards sometimes. I too remember wanting to be in Choir. Oh, and to be a cheerleader. That reminds me, I had to sit in the stupid library every time there was a pep rally. God, I felt like such a nerd! Danny, I remember the feeling you described about the National Anthem. Even when I was older and at a ballgame, I wanted to crawl under my chair. And Thirdson, I used to ask the same question, "Why do we have to be different." It really messes with your head. It taught me to be arrogant around non-believers, it sure didn't teach me to be neighborly.

Traci

28

Why Witnesses are Zealous - a Dark Reason.

by metatron in

despite all the fakery and non-credible statistics, there is still a lot of zeal in this organization.

five meetings a week.

are demanding all by themselves.

Jessica Rabbit

No, you are right on the money in my book. I am not ashamed to tell you I have some definite "issues". I struggle daily with a disorder that I have never had an opportunity to address. I am constantly "scaring" people away who I work with because I do live in a dreamworld. Somedays I could just swear they are out to get me or they are being nice to my face but really can't stand me. We were taught to always walk in that Hall with a smile on our faces and whether we did or didn't like someone or something, we never let it show. So much of my personality is such an "act", even now. I am 40 years old and my personality changes with the wind. My husband should be given a gold medal for putting up with all the different Tracis.

43

Before You Actually Stopped Meetings, How Many HATED Being There?

by minimus in

jw
friends

when i listen to anything at the meetings, it is with a critical eye.

i really can't stand going, especially today.

did you feel that the meetings were grating and extremely irritating, just before you stopped going altogether?

Jessica Rabbit

Thanks Rocketman. Do you know how many attempts I made today to change my alias? Can't do it. This shows how new I am to this board. I thought if I used my real name then maybe some of my old friends/associates might remember me and look me up. Oh well, I have nothing to be ashamed of. I am just glad to be free.

28

Why Witnesses are Zealous - a Dark Reason.

by metatron in

despite all the fakery and non-credible statistics, there is still a lot of zeal in this organization.

five meetings a week.

are demanding all by themselves.

Jessica Rabbit

I have to agree with Danny. In my case it was JW PARENTS. That's the whole point. They were just as messed up as I was. You have to remember that being a JW was a very public thing. No matter what you were doing, someone was observing and ready to either advise or tattle. So the more obsessed you became in your behaviour the better off you would be. I commented earlier on why I hated attending the meetings as a child. It was because I was molded into this little soldier who looked straight at the platform. Why? Because I was an elders' kid who needed to be a good example to EVERYONE WATCHING. There were no toys to keep my attention. Remember the book study "Bablyon the Great Has Fallen"? I was 6 years old then. How many people can remember having to behave a certain way at that age and even remembering the cover of a book they couldn't even read? I haven't been in any other religion, but shouldn't my memories of playing outside and going to the zoo outweigh all the behavior stuff?

52

What was the "final straw" that made you leave the JW's ??????

by run dont walk in

jw
friends

what happened or was said, that made you decide, enough is enough, i am out of here ?????

?

Jessica Rabbit

I actually made my decision about 4 years after I was DF'd. I got this brain storm that I should get reinstated since I was now married and living a moral life. I felt that even if I never was "active" again that I should publicly clear my name and make it known that there would be no scriptural reasons not to be re-associated. The first meeting I went to was so uncomfortable. Everybody and thier dog was gawking at me. (Isn't this little icon the exact face they make when you see them out in public and they recognize you?) Anyway, long story short, after three consecutive Sundays of complete boredom from the worst speakers they could have ever lined up, a little voice said "this is BS, if these people who have known you all your life can't even smile and say "hi", this ought to tell you something is not right." There I was supposedly in JEHOVAH'S house, not theirs, and they have the nerve to look at me like I am pond scum. The fact that I made an effort after four years to even show up and not one elder even acknowleged me. It was definitely an AWAKENING. I feel so free and happy now. When I pick up my bible to read now, it's because I want to and that feels wonderful.

43

Before You Actually Stopped Meetings, How Many HATED Being There?

by minimus in

jw
friends

when i listen to anything at the meetings, it is with a critical eye.

i really can't stand going, especially today.

did you feel that the meetings were grating and extremely irritating, just before you stopped going altogether?

Jessica Rabbit

I DID. I was such a good little soldier. My Dad wouldn't allow me to sleep during the meetings or even get up to use the restroom. If I did, it better have been an emergency. My Dad was an elder and always told us kids we needed to be good examples to the congregation. (whatever) I learned at a very young age how to sit motionless and daydream very well with out looking like I was. I still do well in situations now like business meetings and such. I hated it when he would tell us we HAD to make at least one comment at the WT study or we would be in trouble. One time when I was a teenager I decided to be real brave and tell my Dad that I didn't want to go to any more meetings and was even thinking about taking up smoking. Oh boy! After about an hour of being lectured on how wrong my attitude was and why wasn't I zealous like my little sister, I spent the next 6 weeks writing reports from the "Youth Book" on why I should appreciate having the truth.

I love him! Actually he has escaped the borg too and we both get along just fine. I feel sorry for those who still have the stern military type parents in the organization. The last meeting I went to was about a year ago. The teenagers looked soooo SAD. Even the ones who commented looked like they were at a funeral. That was my last time. I will NEVER go back.

31

The Letter from my Mom to my new wife.

by CraigSA in

jw
friends

this is the letter my mother wrote to my wife.

who does she think she is?dear leanne,thank you once more for the photos; we are building up quite a collection!i was so sorry to hear that the children are ill- this is a bad time of the year for sicknesses.

you must be quite worried, especially if kevin has pneumonia, which can be very nasty.

Jessica Rabbit

We really enjoyed doing that, but had to stop when we moved up here. We don't have enough schools here, and then they are mostly Afrikaans!

Oh my God! And her point was? Oh yeah, she was explaining why disfellowshiping keeps the congregation clean. Does she segregate her car group on Saturdays? I am a white chick, but that sentence flashed in neon colors to me!

23

What did you miss the most while being a kid in the Borg?

by Jessica Rabbit in

jw
friends

the other day i was watching "charlie's angel's" (the weekly series from the '70's) on tvland.

it dawned on me how much i used to wish they had aired that show any night but thursdays.

maybe twice a year, if i was too sick to go to the meeting i would get my hour to watch my favorite star...farrah!

Jessica Rabbit

The other day I was watching "Charlie's Angel's" (the weekly series from the '70's) on TVLand. It dawned on me how much I used to wish they had aired that show any night but Thursdays. Maybe twice a year, if I was too sick to go to the meeting I would get my hour to watch my favorite star...Farrah! Not to mention Saturday morning cartoons.

And to really be open, I used to DREAM about Christmas. I have been trying it for the past few years. It has it's pros and cons. It definitely isn't as magical as I thought it would be, but it is nice to be able to participate in "normal" activities without feeling like a freak.

8

Have You Ever Had One of Those Days...

by Swan in

... when you couldn't get your family out of your mind?

when you kept thinking about how horrible they all are because they loved some pipe dream god more than their real flesh and blood?

when you wonder if you will ever see them again before they die?

Jessica Rabbit

I know exactly what you are saying. Sometimes I want to show my Mom and my aunts and uncles just one scripture to wake them up. There is such a thick wall up though. The WT has been so successful at conditioning them to running from the real truth. I know that my relatives up north probably think that I am still living a VERY immoral life just because my status is DF'd. If they only knew that my life is so much better and more spiritual than it ever was as a JW. They are in that bubble and completely clueless to who I am. And yes, it is hard to believe they still love me, if they ever did. I'm not so sure they are capable to love someone for just being. My Mom treats me like she always has. She loves me and isn't afraid to show it. The other day I went by to see her and forgot that I was wearing a necklace with a cross on it. I had just bought it and it feels so good to wear it. As soon as she looked down at it my legs turned to rubber. I actually felt ashamed of even buying it. I can't even describe the look she had on her face. She isn't a harsh person, she's very soft spoken and sweet but I still did'nt want to disapoint her. She knows I will never go back to the organization. Our way of dealing with it, is NOT Dealing with it. Just not even bringing it up. I'm sorry you are feeling so alone right now. It hurts to lose the people you the most comfortable with, your blood.

(((((BIG HUG)))))

22

WT FAQ about shunning changes again!

by izobcenec in

jw
friends

http://www.jw-media.org/beliefs/beliefsfaq.htm

before july 2002. .

they are always welcome to return to the faith if they reject the improper course of conduct for which they were disfellowshipped.. today:do you shun former members?.

Jessica Rabbit

This is a new experience for me. I just became a member this week. I just want to say that after reading some of your comments I feel more comfortable about who I am now than I EVER felt as a JW. First I just have to know one thing, what the hell does Borg mean?

Now for my comment. I went to my usual garage sales this past Saturday. Around 7:30 a.m. I walk up on three JW sisters all decked out in thier service attire. Now either they are pioneering and ran out of phone booths and laundrymats or they don't have any casual attire to wear "garage saling" (I don't know). Point being one of them looked me up and down as to say "Oh my God, I remember you" the other one looked right at me with a smile on her face until she registered who I was, and suddenly the smile went away. I try so hard to act like I could care less, but the truth is I still haven't convinced myself that I'm not some worldly piece of garbage. Do any of you have any tried and true advice to feel better in those situations? I kept telling myself "You keep smiling because you know you are with Christ and he will never turn away from you." It reminds me of the scripture about "not being afraid of man, what can he do to me?"